Thursday, February 10, 2011

The Blurry Morning

Once upon a time there was a beautiful, young woman.  (Yeah, that’s right, beautiful and young…you got a problem with that?)  Anyway, this beautiful, young woman was getting ready for work one day.  Her world’s looking a bit blurry and she can’t quite figure out why.  If she didn’t know better, she’d think she hadn’t put her contacts in yet.  But her eye make-up is already on, so of course the contacts are already in.  I mean, who puts their eye make-up on before putting their contacts in?  Not the beautiful, young woman, that’s who (or not who...whatever).

However, things are just so darn blurry for the beautiful, young woman.  Maybe she really did forget to put her contacts in.  So the beautiful, young woman checks her contact case and it’s empty, which means, of course, that the contacts are, in fact, in her eyes.  Wondering exactly how much time she has wasted on this little, blurry contact mystery, the beautiful, young woman looks across the room at the clock, only she can’t see it.  Something is seriously wrong here. 

(At her recent eye appointment, the beautiful, young woman’s eye doctor had actually over corrected her distance vision, and up until that very moment the beautiful, young woman has not only been able to see the clock across her own room, but she has also, in fact, been able to see the clock in her son’s room…through the wall!)

The beautiful, young woman is getting frustrated, so she proceeds to pull out her contacts, thinking that if they come out then they must be in.  Luckily the beautiful, young woman is also smart, for this is all getting so complicated (not to mention confusing).  I mean, are the contacts in or are they not in?  Turns out they are in!  Yay!  But wait, the world is still blurry for the beautiful, young, smart woman.

The beautiful, young, smart woman is running out of time so she finishes getting ready and heads to work.  Don’t fret, the beautiful, young, smart woman can see well enough to drive.  Along with beauty, youth, and smarts, the beautiful, young, smart woman also has common sense and would never, ever, drive while under the influence of excessively blurry vision.

On her way to work she makes a stop at Starbuck’s.  Did I mention she was also rich?  So the beautiful, young, smart, common sensical, rich woman stops at Starbuck’s, only she can’t read the menu!  No matter, they know her well there (she’s so popular) and so she orders her usual. 

Coffee in hand (and yes, if you must know, there’s a pastry involved here too…whatever,  people...let’s just focus on the story okay), the beautiful, young, smart, common sensical, rich, popular woman gets in her car and starts to drive to work.  And that’s when it hits her.  Could it be that while the contacts are indeed in, they are, in fact, in the wrong eyes?  Could it be that the beautiful, young, smart, common sensical, rich, popular woman put the left contact in her right eye and the right contact in her left eye?  But she's so smart. How could something like this happen? 

Eager to test her theory, the beautiful, young, smart, common sensical, rich, popular woman drives to work as fast as she safely can, hops out of her car, races down the hallway, and heads straight to the bathroom.  And guess what?  She is right!  The beautiful, young, smart, common sensical, rich, popular woman had, in fact, inadvertently switched her contacts…though now that she thinks about, maybe it was her husband who had switched them and maybe the beautiful, young, smart, common sensical, rich, popular woman wasn’t one bit to blame after all!  Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s how the story goes.

The End.

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