So the other day I was whining about how sad I am that my kids are getting older and that my Easter bunny days are now firmly behind me. Blah, blah, blah, wah, wah, wah, I know!
In all seriousness, I must confess that sadness is just one of the many emotions I might be feeling on any given day with these teenagers o’ mine. Let’s see…there’s frustration, anger, exasperation, oh, yeah, and confusion…let’s go with that one today.
What is most confusing to me is how it is that I have teenagers in the first place. I mean, how did they get here? Oh, I know technically how they got here…two Midori daiquiris at El Torito 16 years ago…with a repeat performance 2 years later. Believe me; I totally know how they got here! What I don’t get is how I am old enough to even have teenagers. I know what you’re thinking: Get over yourself already; you’re 43 years old, just deal with it.
But it’s not my own age that bothers me…really, it’s not…it’s more the fact that I can so vividly remember being 14 and 16 myself that it makes it so very hard for me to fathom that I, in fact, have children who are 14 and 16. My parents were a smidge older when they had kids, which means they were a little bit older when my sister and I were teenagers, but not by much, and I totally remember how old they seemed… when they were, in fact, basically my age! Oh, the irony!
Another thing about my teenagers that is so confusing to me is how much I annoy them. I mean, the very fact that I draw breath causes them great consternation. It’s funny, because I thought that because my relationship with my own mother was so fractured, which has caused me to really try and be an involved mom to ensure that my relationship with my own kids is rock solid, I somehow deluded myself into thinking that this great, involved relationship would somehow be immune to the teenage years. Well, guess what, folks? It’s not! If I had the proverbial nickel for every time one of my kids called me annoying, well, I’d be rich, rich, rich!
Yet another thing I find so confusing about my teenagers is, like, when did they find the time to get all these advanced degrees that they suddenly posses? For example, my son is now a dermatologist who says that he doesn’t need sunscreen. That, in fact, sunscreen doesn’t even work! (He’s got the fairest skin in all the land, plus a family history of cancer…of course he needs sunscreen!)
Oh, and my daughter apparently has a PhD in nutrition as just last night at the dinner table she declared that breakfast was not one bit important and that is was, in fact, not even necessary at all. I mean, I know they stay up later than my husband and I do some nights (well, most nights, really), but we thought they were just lying in bed reading…little did we know that the late nights were due to all of this groundbreaking research they have clearly been doing!
This is just the tip of the iceberg here, folks. Once my kids hit teenagerdom they were all of a sudden experts on EVERYTHING! Dermatology, nutrition, ophthalmology, hair care, lawn care, automotive care, animal care…you name it…they know it ALL.
And guess what? It’s REALLY annoying. So, this is my life…I annoy my teenagers and they annoy me right back. Fair trade off? Not really, but I’m told this is how it’s going to be until they hit 21 or so and realize how right my husband and I have been all along, and how completely and totally and utterly wrong they have been all along. I would say I can’t wait for that day, but then that would mean wishing they were grown and gone faster than it feels like they are already growing up and slipping away, and, quite frankly, I’ll take annoying and under my roof any day of the week!