Thursday, July 14, 2011

The Moose-tery is Finally Solved

So yesterday I mentioned how excited my husband and kids were upon returning from a hike in Grand Teton National Park, and today I’ll tell you why…

It was our second time in that area, well, at least it was for me and the kids.  I’m sure my husband traveled there (or at least to Yellowstone) when he was a youngster, but for us as a family, it was our second trip. 

We had visited Yellowstone and Grand Teton about three summers ago and enjoyed it so much that we decided to return again this summer.  If you are at all familiar with this part of the country then you know it’s famous for its wildlife.  And, for the most part, it does not disappoint, except, however, when it came to moose.

On our first trip to that area three years ago we saw not one single, solitary moose.  Not. A. Single. One.  As in zip, zero, nada!  Apparently the moose (or is it mooses…what is the plural of moose, anyway?) heard we were coming and they decided to am-scray. 

We became a little bit nutty about not seeing a moose.  In fact, when various random people we met during our time in that area said that they had, in fact, seen a moose, we made them show it to us on their cameras.  Yes, we were those people! 

As hard as we tried, we never did see a moose on that trip.  Fast forward three years and we are back in that area.  We hit Yellowstone first and spent three nights there, and then we headed to Grand Teton and spent another couple of nights there, so all told we were in “moose country” a good five days.  And guess what?  We still aren’t seeing any moose!

My husband has done every bit of research he can on where the best moose sightings are.  We drive miles…and miles…and miles to each of those places, and, you guessed it, still no moose!  He overhears someone talking about a moose sighting, so he, of course, jumps right in and asks, “Where?!  Where did you see a moose?!”  The man explains where “his” moose was seen and my husband immediately starts making plans to hike that area the next day, which happened to be the day I did my big “Grand Teton/Bucket List Run.” 

If you read the post about the “Grand Teton/Bucket List Run” then you know I didn’t go on that hike.  You know I was too tired and choose to, instead, stay in the camper and relax.  And if I didn’t go on that hike, then guess what my husband and kids saw?  Yep, a moose!

So they come back to the camper and they’re all excited.  At first I thought they were just pulling my leg, but mixed in with their excitement was a little bit of remorse because, though they were excited that they got to see the moose, they had the good grace to feel bad for me because I didn’t get to see it. 

I feel sorry for myself for about a minute and then face the fact that it’s just not my destiny to see a moose…ever (pretty deep, I know).  After my 60-second pity party, I join in their excitement and ask to see the pictures.  Only here’s the deal, the pictures are HORRIBLE.  And I’m not just saying that because I’m bitter because I wasn’t there…remember, my pity party was short-lived and I’m now genuinely excited for them. 

Anyway, back to the pictures…the “alleged” moose, which is what I’m calling it now since I can’t actually see it on the camera…anyway…this alleged moose is clearly far away because of how grainy the pictures are.  And not only is it far away…really, really far away, but it’s also completely camouflaged in the trees.  Really, any kind of animal at all could be in those pictures.  Heck, it could be an eagle for all I could see of it!  Moose, yeah right!

Now I’m beginning to think that maybe they are pulling my leg after all, and that they did not, in fact, see a moose at all.  However, they insisted that it was a moose and so I decided to believe them…but between you and me, it was a pretty crappy moose!  (I later viewed some video my husband shot, and I have to give them credit, it was a bonafide moose all right, but still, the pictures were awful!)

This moose sighting took place on our last full day in the park; the next morning we were packing up and leaving Grand Teton to head over to Utah for our river rafting trip.  So on our last full day, a moose finally decides to show itself to my family!  Thank you, Ms. Moose. 

Fast forward again to the next morning and what are we doing?  That’s right, packing up.  I head to the bathroom for the umpteenth time (funny how often I have to go when a real toilet is available) and as I’m heading back a lady I’m about to walk past very casually says, “Did you see the moose?” 

Um, excuse me, she didn’t say did you see A moose, she said did you see THE moose, as in the moose that is right here, right now…as in the moose that is, Oh. My. Gosh. RIGHT THERE!

Needless to say I’m a little excited and I start to run back to camp…and yes, I’m even flailing my arms!  About half a second into this little spectacle I realize running with arms flailing is, like, a totally stupid thing to do around a wild animal.  As quickly as I had lost my wits, I managed to regain them.  I mean, I’m excited to see a moose and all, but I’m certainly not willing to die for one…or be maimed…or, well, anything at all other than simply see one. 

With wits back intact, I slowly saunter back to camp and tell the family, “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, there’s a moose in camp, there’s a moose in camp, there’s a moose in camp!”  Totally cheesy, I know!

I quickly grab my camera and proceed to take, like, a hundred pictures of “my” moose.  I barely even have to zoom in she is so close.  Not only is she so close, but she very graciously walks right through the camp right across from us.  She is, like, right there!  And then…and then, oh my gosh, and then…she sits down!  Right there!  Right at the end of our camp site.  She just plops right down.  And she stays there!  And there she remains the entire time we finish packing up camp…we even drive off and she is STILL THERE!  Seriously folks, we’re literally like 30 minutes from leaving Grand Teton and a moose walks right through our camp!  How cool is that?!

And then, of course, I have no choice but to razz my husband and kids about how much better “my” moose sighting is than theirs.  I have no choice but to tease them about how they had to walk seven miles (uphill, in the snow, blah, blah, blah) to see their crappy little moose, while I barely had to walk seven steps to see my totally awesome, up-close and personal moose.  Not only that, but “my” moose sat down and hung out with me for a while.  I’ll spare you the rest of the ribbing, it’s really much too ridiculous to share, but let’s just say that that’s my moose story, and I’m sticking to it! 


  1. This is seriously too effin funny!!!! (:

  2. Seriously effin thank you!!