Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Email Gone Wrong

A while back I saw Cybill Shepherd on The Oprah Winfrey Show…wait, did you hear that sound?  That was my husband clicking the heck out of here…Cybill and Oprah in one sentence…he’s gone. 

Anyway, as I was saying, Cybill was on Oprah’s show, and in her very Cybill way she was talking about how much better sex was when a woman was in her 40’s.  Without going into too much detail…after all, I do like to keep things PG around here…let’s just say that I totally agree with her.  (This really has nothing to do with anything, but it’s kind of, sort of, well…minimally, really, related to this post.  Oh, well.)

So anyway…I’m at work the other day and we’re working on the –or family.  As in for, corn, store, morning, etc.  To amuse myself (and because, you know, I’m in my 40’s now and I’m finding myself feeling more “frisky” than usual lately), I started thinking of words like horny and fornication (I know, I know, TMI). 

Then I thought, “Wouldn’t it be funny to send my husband a naughty email?”  So at lunch time I did just that.  In the subject line I wrote “word families” and in the email I wrote,
“-or:  I am horny for my gorgeous husband.”

I anxiously awaited a funny response from him…I waited and waited and waited…no response.  (I know I sent it to the right address because I triple checked!)  Oh, well, I didn’t worry too much about it because my “smart” phone isn’t always all that smart, so I just figured the email didn’t go through.  No biggie. 

At home later that day, I said,

“Hey, I sent you a naughty email but it must not have gone through.” 

And he said, “Oh, is that what that was?  I didn’t know what to make of it.  I thought you were playing Words with Friends with Amy or Tammy or something like that.”

And that, my dear friends, pretty much sums up my life lately.  I try to make a move on my man and he thinks I’m playing a word game with a friend!  Oye!

In all fairness to him, though, he doesn’t have a clue about word families so why would I even think that he would have any idea about what I was even talking about?  It was a lame idea and it was an even lamer email!  I mean, it would be like him, Mr. Geologist, emailing me something like, “I have a couple of metamorphic rocks that need to be polished!”  Would I even know what something like that meant?  You bet I would!

That’s bad, I know…I’ll  pick myself up out of the gutter now and be done with this post!


  1. Send me your email!!! xoxox

  2. Ba hahahaha!!! Made me lol!

  3. “I have a couple of metamorphic rocks that need to be polished!” that is hilarious!!!

  4. smart phone would have changed the spelling of the word family words I so carefully typed...and even if it hadn't, my husband would have thought the exact same thing.