Sunday, February 26, 2012

Taxes, I Didn't Hear Nothin' 'Bout No Taxes

About nine-hunerd-leven times a day (that's First Grade speak for, like, a lot) some kid busts out with something random.  (One of my little sweetie pies has now started prefacing her random tangents with, "I know this doesn't have anything to do with anything we are talking about right now, but…." Love her!)  Anyway…

The other day we're in the middle of something - don't ask me what - we're always in the middle of something, now aren't we?  So we're in the middle of something and a kid raises his hand and says, "I'm going to my papa's house tonight at 6:00."  (If there's one thing I've learned from teaching it's that, to get to the funny, you have to ask the oh, so important, "Why?"  And so I did:

"How come you're going to your papa's house today at 6:00?" 

"Well," he said, "That's because my mom and dad have to go pay their taxes."  

Ah, I thought to myself, an appointment with their accountant, lucky them.  

"How fun for you," I said, "to get to spend some time with your grandpa."  

"Yeah," he said, "I'm gonna be there for 10 hours!"

"Wow!" I replied.  "Ten hours.  That's a long time.  How come you're going to be there for 10 hours."

"Well," he said, "that's because my mom and dad have to pay a LOT of taxes."

I try hard not to LOL, and he continues, "Yeah, my mom hasn't been paying her taxes, so now they have, like, two taxes to pay."

At this point I've heard all I want to hear as I picture myself in a courtroom being grilled by a judge, "Mrs. So-and-So, on the afternoon of February 23, 2012, did little Johnny here tell you his mom hadn't been paying her taxes?"

"Er, um," I would reply, "Paying her taxes? Um, no, I think he said, 'Snack-ses,' not 'taxes.' You see, First Graders often have trouble with word endings, so I'm sure he said his mom hadn't been 'packing his snack-ses' and NOT 'not paying her taxes.' No, I'm certain I didn't hear nothin' 'bout no taxes not being paid, no sirree, I'm positive he said 'snack-ses', I'm sure of it in fact."

The judge would look down at me from behind his spectacles and give me a look that would let me know he clearly knows I'm full of it. I would then raise my hand and say, "Tomorrow's my cousin's birthday!"  He would roll his eyes, pound his gavel, and declare, "Case dismissed!" 

1 comment:

  1. Funny stuff! You always make me laugh!